Discover more from Don Surber
A Cabinet of Tokens
Last week was one disaster after another in America. In other words, it was a typical seven days with Biden sitting at the Resolute Desk.
Zero Hedge reported, “After the Pentagon dispatched fighter jets to shoot down unidentified objects on February 10, 11, and 12 utilizing heat-seeking AIM-9X Sidewinder missiles at over $400,000 a pop, President Biden belatedly admitted that they could just be harmless weather balloons.”
Duh. Biden said, “The intelligence community’s current assessment is that these three objects were most likely balloons tied to private companies, recreation, or research institutions studying weather or conducting other scientific research.”
The story said, “But now an Illinois-based hobby group which uses $12 balloons with ham radios for a cheap high-altitude hobby says the object shot down over Yukon Territory on February 11 likely belongs to them. NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden also sees this as the likely scenario...”
It did not take 3 Sidewinders to pop those 3 balloons. It took 4 because our Top Guns won participation trophies instead of marksmanship medals.
To be fair, those $12 balloons are tricky things because unlike the enemy aircraft that Top Guns train to hit, $12 balloons just stay there like the sides of barn they are.
But criticizing the Pentagon is racist under Biden because — as Wikipedia says — “Lloyd James Austin III is a retired United States Army four-star general who, since his appointment on January 22, 2021, has served as the 28th United States Secretary of Defense. He is the first African American to serve as the United States Secretary of Defense.”
And being the first [fill-in-the-blank] is more important than being competent because that lifts you above criticism, which is why Biden appoints so many firsts.
Consider his appointment to the Supreme Court: Ketanji Onyika Brown Jackson. Her only qualification was she is the first black woman on the Supreme Court. That is it. He said in his basement campaign that he would appoint a black woman to the court and by golly, he did.
Or did he? During Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearing, Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee asked her, “Can you provide a definition for the word ‘woman’?” She refused, saying, “I’m not a biologist.”
So maybe she is the first black woman or maybe she is not. It depends on what your definition of woman is, and she (or he) has none. Schrödinger's Supreme Court justice. (Poor guy. Won a Nobel in physics, but his cat is more famous.)
Meanwhile, Biden’s first gay — excuse me, openly gay because we have to imply there were closeted ones in the past — secretary of (squints) transportation is ignoring his job again.
This time the gay guy is not ignoring a supply chain backlog of 100 or so cargo transports or airline flight delays. This time he is ignoring a toxic flume of unnatural gases from a trainwreck in East Palestine, Ohio.
Zero Hedge also reported, “Earlier this week, residents of East Palestine, Ohio, were reassured that water is ‘safe to drink’ after new Ohio EPA tests showed no detection of contaminants in raw water from several wells that feed into the town's municipal water system. But many concerned residents and at least one senator don't believe the government testing and have discovered what appears to be polluted creek beds.
“Ohio Senator J.D. Vance visited East Palestine on Thursday, meeting with residents, town officials, and federal officials.”
Vance challenged railroad and federal officials to drink the water. So far there have been no takers.
Ari Rabin-Havt, Bernie’s deputy campaign manager, tweeted, “Who would have thought the mediocre mayor of Indiana’s fourth largest city would not be a good choice to run the Department of Transportation?”
It was in response to Matt Stoller’s tweet, “I got so much crap for pointing out Pete Buttigieg is completely incompetent in his job at the Department of Transportation. Now that flight cancelations are routine the pushback is minimal.”
But money talks and the Gay Mafia is loaded. The gay guy stays. The gay guy knows this. His only other employment option is towel boy at a bathhouse.
Marie Antoinette said let them eat cake. The gay DOT secretary does not say that. He says let them eat shit and die. I can see why the gay guy feels that way. Trump did carry Columbiana County (home of East Palestine) by 50 points.
That also may explain FEMA’s refusal to give East Palestine the time of day.
News Nation reported, “The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has denied assistance as Gov. Mike DeWine seeks federal help for the residents of East Palestine, according to a release from his office.
“According to the release, DeWine spoke with White House officials early on Thursday morning to request additional help amid concerns over the release of toxic chemicals following a February 3 Norfolk Southern train derailment, in which about 50 freight cars derailed, 10 of which were carrying hazardous materials.
“DeWine also requested assistance from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the Health and Emergency Response Team and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).”
9 years earlier, Obama’s FEMA did not hesitate to give West Virginia aid for a leak that spoiled the water supply of 300,000 people. On the very day Democrat Governor Earl Ray Tomlin declared a state of emergency, FEMA did too. It helped that the state also had a Democrat legislature.
Biden wouldn’t visit the manmade disaster, so President Trump announced he was going. Only then did FEMA acknowledge that a big cloud of smoke from toxic chemicals was an emergency and released some funds to pay for the disastrous railroad wreck and the burn-it-all government response.
It took FEMA two weeks.
But criticizing FEMA is misogynist because — as Wikipedia says — “Deanne Bennett Criswell is an American emergency management officer who has served as the administrator of the Federal Emergency Management Agency since April 2021. Criswell is the first woman to lead FEMA.”
The EPA also cannot be criticized.
WEWS in Cleveland reported, “EPA Administrator Michael Regan, several congressional representatives and Ohio officials reassured East Palestine residents on Thursday that all air and municipal water quality testing so far has not detected any chemicals at levels of concern and encouraged any resident experiencing unusual symptoms to seek out a primary care physician and report their maladies to a local, county or state health department.”
Regan said, “The controlled burn decision was made by both the governors of Pennsylvania and Ohio in consultation with how EPA could respond to that in terms of monitoring the air and the impacts. And so the state made a decision, and we were prepared for that decision.”
Controlled burn? The EPA agreed to just burn vinyl chloride and other chemicals rather than clean the mess up. I thought the EPA opposed air pollution. Under Biden, the EPA pollutes the air.
But once again, I cannot criticize this asshole because — as Wikipedia says — “He has been serving as the 16th administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency since March 11, 2021. He is the first African American man to serve in the role.”
Then there is the inarticulate and downright stupid Karine Jean-Pierre who speaks for the Biden administration. Wikipedia says, “She is the first black person and the first openly LGBT person to be White House press secretary.”
When it comes to incompetence at the White House, no one tops Kamala Harris, not even Biden. She is the first openly Asian American, openly black and openly female vice president. She also is everything the media claimed Dan Quayle was.
Biden put her in charge of protecting the southern border in January 2021. Record numbers of illegal aliens have invaded ever since.
Cackling Kamala shares the blame with Alejandro Mayorkas, the first openly Latino and the first openly immigrant as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. Republicans may impeach the dummy. Which one? Oh, the male dummy. Let’s not be sexist.
Janet Yellen became the first openly female treasury secretary. Deficits reached new records. You know how women are with credit cards. We don’t have a treasury anymore — just a vault stuffed with IOUs, but Secretary of the Vault Stuffed with IOUs does not sound as cool as Secretary of the Treasury, so we never changed the title.
Given how the first [fill-in-the-blank] tokens are doing, maybe we should stick to having straight white guys run things.
But Biden is a straight white guy, so scrap that plan.
Just get rid of all of them in 2024.